Why I Nap

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Everyone’s relationship with sleep is complicated. Our sleep patterns reveal much more about our lives than most any other habits. How much we sleep, when we sleep, our ability to get to sleep, how we feel when we get too much or too little – it all affects our mental and physical health. Some of […]

A Little Bit Wet

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Everything was always a little bit wet. The summers in Pennsylvania are sometimes grossly humid. Much of the time was spent hoping for a thunderstorm to come along and break the heat for a few hours. It was the first day of summer vacation. I’d set up the tent the night before. We didn’t have […]

I Should Have Been Aborted

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My parent’s marriage certificate hung in the hallway outside their bedroom. I was maybe 8 years old when I took the time one day to figure out that April and October of the same year were only 6 months apart. I had never seen any wedding photos, and suddenly it all made sense. My mother got […]

Your Own Personal Fiction

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I was 7 years old when The Land Before Time debuted in theatres. I loved dinosaurs just as many children did growing up. My favorite character was Ducky followed closely by Spike. I eventually had it on VHS and would watch it fairly often. And every time I popped that tape in, my mom would […]

Another Snail Massacre

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It’s been raining. There are fancy live/work lofts near my much less fancy home. And when it rains, the sidewalk in front of the building is covered in snails within hours. The problem is that when it’s dark, the snails look like leaves and other debris on the sidewalk. It makes for a lot of slimy […]

Photoshop Harassment

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“Don’t feed the trolls!” I hear them shout from their comfortable computer chairs. There’s something about bystanders that make them feel like they can make objective, moral decisions from the sidelines. They will decide what is worth your time. They will tell you what is in your best interest. The men will tell women what […]

“I Wish I Could Help!”

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Anyone who’s followed my Twitter or other social media for the past… few years knows that I’ve gotten increasingly frustrated. This is due to many, many things. But I wanted to give you a little insight into a bit of that. People are constantly telling me how they watch/download/read/consume my content. But when confronted with […]

Fuck Of, Sharon

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My mom went to Al-Anon meetings every week for years. And eventually she came to be friends with a woman named Sharon. Sharon’s husband was also an abusive addict with severe mental health issues, and sometimes all it takes is a little solidarity for a relationship to spark. From the outside it looked like the sad, […]

Home, a few scenes

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I have these memories of my childhood home. It’s this sequence of vignettes that play on a loop. It’s Pennsylvania. I’m 10 and it’s autumn. And you can picture the tree (is it a maple tree?) that was outside the kitchen window that had the ring of rocks around it. Those rocks would get buried by […]

How To Support Your Creator Friends

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Hi there! You are probably reading this because you are one of two types of people – you are either a creator, or you are friends with one. And if you are the latter, don’t worry. I’ve written this out in blog form instead of a video or audio format because you are probably at some […]

Can You Hear Me Now?

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Yesterday wasn’t a great day. So a friend was nice enough to take me out for a mid-day drink and help me calm down from what was a pretty severe anxiety attack. You know, the fun kind where you are crying and hyperventilating and it takes hours to stop crying? Yeah, that. So we were […]

Love Me, Love My Phone

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A statue of two women taking a selfie was put up at the town hall of Sugar Land, Texas, USA. And a lot of people lost their shit over it. What about two women happily enjoying connecting to the world through technology is so utterly offensive to so many? I’m sure there’s some gross sexism […]

Save The Children

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Something happened to my attitude about having children after my mom died. As a child, I had never played with dolls or had any inclination I’d want a child of my own. I was an unapologetic “tomboy” up until puberty, but even after that I never thought of wanting a family. It may have been […]

The Definition Of “Fat” Isn’t “Sick”

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This is me. I have the following medical conditions: Allergies Asthma Deviated septum Slipped cartilage in my jaw Anxiety Depression Tooth enamel issues Heart murmur Positional vertigo I was/am a model, and I am by no means healthy. I am, in fact, sick every day of my life. The idea that someone who looks like […]

Luck In Love

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I don’t put much stock in Valentine’s Day. I try to ignore it, but it’s more than a little impossible when even Amazon Kindle is sending me alerts about it to my phone. And while I spent Valentine’s Day with friends having fun and drinking, I still spent my last hour of consciousness wondering why […]

Why We Are Angry At The Fine Brothers

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If you are part of the YouTube community, you are probably already familiar with the trademark fiasco that The Fine Brothers stumbled into this past week.   There are thousands of opinions flying around, from lawyers to the younger Green brother. It’s been broken down piece by piece, and people have given their opinions. But […]

Full Of Yourself

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I’m reminded on a daily basis that I’m not supposed to like myself. That I do not have permission to feel good. That I need to change – be quieter, wear more make-up, wear less make-up, be sexy, be ashamed, be younger, change your hair, change your body, change your feelings. And I’m also reminded how I am not […]

My #2015BestNine

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It’s the end of the year, and all of us on Instagram are using 2015bestnine.com to see our “best” photos of the past 12 months. “Best” in this case means most liked by other people. Here’s mine. What this did for me was highlight what people on social media value about me. And it’s not a great […]

A Smoke Alarm Made Me Cry

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I am writing this as my hair is still wet from the shower. I was overcoming my lethargy today by taking it upon myself to shower and wash my hair. I then had plans to get some more work done, including filming a video for YouTube today. So I’m in the shower. And suddenly, ear-piercing […]

Everyone Is Gay?

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Earlier this month, a bunch of media outlets went bananas over a study that came out claiming to prove that there is no such thing as straight people. The conclusions that came from this study are absolutely bonkers. “We show straight men a picture of a woman masturbating and they respond just like a straight guy, but […]